I never said it would be easy, but that it would be worth it. That statement keeps running through my mind. After I finished my previous post, I couldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't slow down. I thought about more things that I didn't have control of, but most importantly like I thought about what I am doing in life. Since that night I have tried to keep my spirit bright, but tonight I finally threw up my hands and gave up.
I can tell that this post is going to be mostly for me (sorry I don't know how to make it private). But it is going to remind why in the heck I am here at Utah State.
For the past year I have had nothing, but hopeful dreams of become a photographer. But, this past month has put me in moods of anger, frustration, and hopelessness. Every time I try to figure something out in photo it becomes more confusing and it ends up costing me more money.
Take today as an example. I need to do a zone system project. To do that I have to take a picture of a black towel and a white towel using my camera and a spot meter. This spot meter cost me about $350. It unfortunately doesn't work for this class or I can't seem to make it work because I am such an idiot so I have no assignment to turn in tomorrow, ( I know that is what I get for trying to do it late.) In order to do this I am either going to have to buy a new spot meter or by a 1 degree attachment which costs as much as the meter.
This all brings me back to why am I doing something that I am beginning to hate so much. I have had a lot of time to think about this and I haven't come up with anything so who do I call....(not the ghost busters) I call my Dad.
He told me about when he started making donuts. None of them tasted any good, but eventually he got it right. It took a lot of time, but he became good at it. He told me that this is what it was going to be like with me. It is going to be rough and hard, but ending result will be worth the time and effort I put into it. So with my Dad's word of encouragement I press forward with the scene from "Emperor's New Groove" or the twelve cheerleader movie...."BRING IT ON!!"
If anyone can do it, you can! Love you girl!
ReplyDeleteMeredith,
ReplyDeleteWe are behind you 101%. You are not in this life alone. You have us, your familiy, brothers and sisters. The scripture I sent you today can be your motto and source of strength for the next while. "Be strong and of good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed, for the LORD thy God is with thee, withersoever thou goest." And my all time favorite scripture that got me through many difficult times in my life is Proverbs 3:5-6.
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths." Meredith, you are a daughter of God!! What does that mean? It means you are capable of success and happiness in spite of your trials. Don't worry about the money, it will all work out. We love you and support you in whatever you need. Love Mom and Dad