The Lab

This is going to be a quick post because I am suppose to be working on a paper.

Lately, I have been doubting whether I will stay interested in Landscape Architecture. Plus I have been thinking about how tough and rigorous the program is and whether or not I would be able to cut it in it.

Just know did I realize I am actually interested in this kind of stuff. I was reading about curb extension and now how they are using them in Oregon to capture storm water runoff and I was captivated. I saw a picture of frame work for the curb and it made me excited. Who gets excited about sustainability?

I am a freak!

The Person I want to be

Today in Relief Society I had the overwhelming thought of what kind of person do I want to be and the first thing that popped into my mind was my Mother. She has so many character traits that I want. I want my future children to be as lucky as I am.

Caring. There hasn't been point in her life where she hasn't been serving someone. Her belief is that when you are helping someone you are happier. So though she never has her own personal time she is the happiest person I have ever met. Which brings me to the next one....

Happiness, it seems to radiate right off of her. She is always smiling. When I had to go the plastic surgeon, he told my Mom that he could get rid of her wrinkles. She politely turned him down. I was proud of her because those wrinkles shows the type of life she has.

Her ability to love makes her stand apart the most. Us kids were not easy on her and still she loves us. She was never allowed to have anything nice because we would destroy it, but that never mattered to her. She loves her family. She takes care of us. She will do anything for anyone of us. Her love doesn't stop with her family, it moves to the neighbors or anyone that she comes into contact with.

The Gospel has always been a part of her life. She has an unwavering testimony and she isn't afraid to share it. Everyone that meets her can see it in her eyes. No matter the topic of conversation she can bring it back to the church. Though at times we tease her about that, I really do love it about her. She truly has centered her life around Christ.

She has raised eight kids while working full time and she helped my Dad run the Donut Shop. While doing that she never complained about a single thing. She is the strongest woman I will ever know.

I just hope that I can be half of the woman, wife, and mother she is.I LOVE YOU MOM!!

My front porch

Every morning the past couple of weeks I have sat out on my porch waiting for a ride to work and this is Erda that I have come to love...
The beat is the sound of a sprinkler in the near by hayfield. The hint of wet grass that come in the slow, cool breeze. Watching the sun slowly come up over the mountain making it seem like everything is starting over again. The occasional rooster announcing the coming day. There isn't a sound of a car to interrupt the quietness, just the sound of a country life. Simple, happy yet full of trials and hard work.
Erda will always be my home.

Dreams, shopping, and a friend

The other night I had the best dream in the world. Cliche, I know, but it was pretty good. I was shopping with one of my BEST friends...Heather June Nancy Rae Taylor.

We found all of the great sales, looked at shoes, and even got Arby's curly fries. And then I woke up...and realized that I was in boring Erda (or Ur-duh depending on who you talk to) wishing so much that I was really in Logan with her.

Now I just need to make it to the end of the week or until April 24th then I get to go back to my home away from home and back to my best friend!

Home wouldn't be home....

This past weekend I got to go home to see my entire family. The family that I love and that I didn't realize that I missed so much until it came time to leave...

It wasn't just because of these two girls, but they seemed to keep me busy the whole weekend with "Crackers, more crackers" or the running down the hall to have me scare them. Here they are having a conversation with each other, but no one really knew what they were saying. (Sorry for the cheesy date at the bottom, not my camera.)
I love every single one of my nieces and nephews and I am glad that even though I only got to see them run by me when they were playing their crazy games or when they were collecting their Easter eggs I got to spend this time with them.

I never said it would be easy....

I never said it would be easy, but that it would be worth it. That statement keeps running through my mind. After I finished my previous post, I couldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't slow down. I thought about more things that I didn't have control of, but most importantly like I thought about what I am doing in life. Since that night I have tried to keep my spirit bright, but tonight I finally threw up my hands and gave up.

I can tell that this post is going to be mostly for me (sorry I don't know how to make it private). But it is going to remind why in the heck I am here at Utah State.

For the past year I have had nothing, but hopeful dreams of become a photographer. But, this past month has put me in moods of anger, frustration, and hopelessness. Every time I try to figure something out in photo it becomes more confusing and it ends up costing me more money.

Take today as an example. I need to do a zone system project. To do that I have to take a picture of a black towel and a white towel using my camera and a spot meter. This spot meter cost me about $350. It unfortunately doesn't work for this class or I can't seem to make it work because I am such an idiot so I have no assignment to turn in tomorrow, ( I know that is what I get for trying to do it late.) In order to do this I am either going to have to buy a new spot meter or by a 1 degree attachment which costs as much as the meter.

This all brings me back to why am I doing something that I am beginning to hate so much. I have had a lot of time to think about this and I haven't come up with anything so who do I call....(not the ghost busters) I call my Dad.

He told me about when he started making donuts. None of them tasted any good, but eventually he got it right. It took a lot of time, but he became good at it. He told me that this is what it was going to be like with me. It is going to be rough and hard, but ending result will be worth the time and effort I put into it. So with my Dad's word of encouragement I press forward with the scene from "Emperor's New Groove" or the twelve cheerleader movie...."BRING IT ON!!"

Box of Chocolates....

The famous line from Forest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get." This line, that has been repeated and repeated since it came to theaters, is now something that I honestly believe. My life has been a different kind of chocolate everyday. I wake up in the morning and I don't know what the day has in store for me. I think of tomorrow and I wonder what will happen. Is it going to be awkward, normal, or am I going to find something to cause drama in my life? (Because I love drama)

I have now begun to worry about things I have no power over and what most people wouldn't have a second thought about. It has gotten the point where I have forgotten how to live in the moment. Instead of taking charge and doing something about it, I'll sit and fret about it. I have wasted my life worry about these things. I now know it is time to take charge of my life. I am going to do it the best way I know how. I have a great example in my life and she always has a theme for each year and I am going to instill that into my life.

3 Nephi 13:34- "Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for things of itself..."

I am going to stop worrying about things because I know that my Heavenly Father is in control. I have faith that the worries I have will be resolved, though they won't be in the time frame I would wish, it will all work out for the best.

Because life is like a box of chocolates......and I can't wait to see what I get next!